Hug should become a habit, but how long have we not hugged the people around us?
Is it because of shyness or because it doesn’t matter, that you didn’t do this action, or is it just not used to it? We are all bad at expressing our feelings, and even a simple hug can sometimes become out of reach. Sometimes I see those warm hugs in movies. I wonder why those people can give each other a hug so naturally. It is a habit of life. Children get a lot of hugs from childhood, and they will inevitably have the habit of hugging when they grow up. One simple action, starting today.
Some time ago, I suddenly had an idea. In social apps, people check in every day to learn foreign languages, read books, run, exercise, yoga, and more. They are all punching in their own lives in different ways, hoping to persevere. You can also get attention and reminders from others. So why not try and stick to hugging your family? People think a behavior that lasts 21 days is going to become a habit, I thought I could try it.
So one morning, before David left for school, I said to him. David, can you give me a hug in the future before you go to school. He was very happy and immediately gave me a big hug. Then he went into the room again and gave his brother a big hug. I saw his younger brother’s face was happy, and the signature dimple became more and more cute. Of course, my heart is also joyful, because I also gave him a hug back. With such a simple act, they were all very happy to find out. On that day, we could clearly feel a sense of ritual in life, an attitude towards life. When I saw David leave the house, he turned his head and looked at me, full of joy.
For the next few days we would all hug each other before heading out. If the younger brother falls asleep, David will say, come back at noon to give you a hug. Then he quietly exited the door, for fear of waking up his younger brother. Persistence seems to be effective. In the past, Dad sent David to school, and David went straight to the classroom. Now David will also give Dad a hug, and let Dad feel the warmth.
Of course, we usually have a lot of things, and we may forget, but children will not forget. Even a 1-year-old baby like the circle likes to be hugged. In particular, his brother would hug him before he left, and he would bury his head in his brother’s arms. This morning, I took Rui to school. Because I was in a hurry, I turned around and left at the school gate. David suddenly came over and said, “Mom, I haven’t given a hug yet. I haven’t reacted yet, and I’m suddenly very moved. It seems that I did not do a good job of hugging and insisting on punching.
For adults, they hope to remind themselves to hug their children more through hug punch cards. But it only takes a few days for a child to get used to this behavior. Therefore, children are born with behavioral persistence. And it must be the behavior that makes him feel loved, that’s why he does it. The ceremony is really important, just like he said a word of thanks to me very seriously on Mother’s Day. And he and my brother performed a show for me, and asked my father to watch it together. Said to be a mother’s holiday, this is the sense of ritual in life. Maybe we adults should also learn these behaviors of children, don’t take our own life too much, and let life live a sense of ritual.
The act of hugging is going on quietly, and you, how long have you not hugged the people around you? Starting today, try giving someone a hug, at least from your lover and your child. In fact, it is really a very simple thing. Since it is a simple thing, it can be persevered. A hug necklace is a gift that can be given to a loved one who is no longer around, let’s start with ourselves. Give each other a big warm embrace, and make this simple embrace a must in your life. Let’s start our lives with some little rituals.